Simone Desso

Montreal-based poet who fell in love with poetry to cope with mental illness. Loves books and good coffee. http://simonedesso.tumblr.com/

Last Night

DCF 1.0

Passion I by Robert Gibson

Last night, I kissed your lips raw in an attempt to
disfigure you, to render you utterly mutilated
Hoping nobody would ever want you again
and you would stay mine
safe, here, in the hollow of my chest
It was wrong I know; How selfish!
but darling, I was born for this – for living
And you – oh you, leave me wanting to never die again
In the dark, we make war; our moaning births armies,
angry battalions fighting this feeling that we are like
the monsters hidden underneath our bed
You make me want to conquer
But I am sword-less, you have swallowed my defenses
Hear the loud thump!
I am a mender who has had her hands chopped off
It is a long road to sadness and I am already well ahead of you
My wish is for the end of this abuse
The custody battle between my head and my heart
The perforation of my torso
You have me repeat after you: I am perfect, I am perfect
like you see the entropy in me and strip it bare
When we are alone, you smile at the whiteness of my breasts
The Everest has got nothing on me
Your teeth are a reconnaissance plane looking
for survivors between my sheets
Some days, we make love in silence because
I cannot bear to hear the sound of your very own voice
Oh – my shame is centuries long
You must think you have done something wrong to deserve me
The fault is all mine; I have lost my anchor
In result, nobody stays
Condemn me! Put me on the stand! Judge me!
I want imprisonment if jail is your grasp
I want the stakes if fire is your breath
The list goes on for a while – I recite it
until I do not know where you are
But you hide in the deep of my shoulder blades
Always present, yet forever out of reach
Here are the things I could never give you:
love
dandelions
the spring

Simone Desso

 

“What it’s like to be in love when you have depression”

art-aura-couple-darkness-Favim.com-2258665

Artist unknown.

Hello everyone,
I recently read an amazing article written by the fantastic Holly Everett about what’s it is like to be in love when you have depression (click here to read the article). This text gave me hope and I thought I’d share it to you all. Tell me what you think of it in the comments. And please tell me how you manage romantic relationships with depression. I’d love to hear from you!

Simone xox

A Depiction of Love at First Sight

Gli Amanti 2 olio acrlico su tela 100 x 100

Gli Amanti by Laura Libera Lupo

You crashed into me and I – took the blow
You made the sky dance
God knows, I was birthed for this
my predecessors die over it
For the first time, I felt like a saint and not
the beast, I swear
I was a dandelion sprung free in the spring
Your body, my incessant fields
It was breathtaking the way your gaze
left a trail of soot on my flesh
like dust settles after a volcano’s wrath
A constellation of beauty marks
with your signature
My heart was over the precipice when I saw you
and every cell in my body recognised you
and saluted their halves
I was at a loss for words
So you gave me yours
and threaded your piano of a voice
in my hair like a crown
Paraded like the Queen of madness I am
I looked at you like a cub recognises his mama
like you were as indispensible as the missing piece of an emergency radio
We could tell them but
they wouldn’t understand
And if you must know
I missed you for all the time we missed
looking for each other

– Simone Desso

An Almost Love

the-lovers-2

The Lovers II by Rene Magritte, 1928

You were a hurricane and
I choked on your blast
Without a warning you ripped my
darkness to pieces
The birds in my chest sang for you
I wish I had been prisoner of your embrace and
master of your skin
I would have loved you
like the madwoman I am
Don’t you know how dull the world became
after you
I know it’s not quite right but
Darling, you never knew how
much red thread you carried on your back
for me

– Simone Desso

The Lovers’ Trap

augusteserrure2-2_thumb

Auguste Serrure

Imagine a field in which
I am an eager lion and
you kiss me with the ardor of
a war widow
We make a house out of poppy stems
and drink the cheapest wine
What a happy home that is
Happiest we have ever had
We make love under the yellow trees
And my darling,
Your sweat on my lips tastes of cherries
My throat is ablaze
The song I sing is tangible
I memorise maps to your heart
while you sing like a hungry hyena
How sweet the sound of your breath
The moon cries so loudly we cherish the sun instead
under this rattle we
build up a shrine with us both as disciples
We venerate ourselves while we are at it
Suddenly it goes pitch black
Someone once told me that
To love is to blindfold
and I loved you.
God, how I hate this idea
History is far too intimate
After all, this has been the year of leaving

– Simone Desso

Absence

boxman4

“The Man in the Box” by Ben Schwarcz

It has been two years
The flowers are dead now
Nobody cares about the ashes once they are buried
It is crude, but it is true
In the box it’s all against one
Excuse my much – ness
I am the elephant in the room
I don’t know what they mean by “welcome back”
Did I ever leave?
A door just shut
I run but it is locked from the inside
After the longest silence, I say
without saying a word
“there is no love here”

– Simone Desso

Inspired by “Take Me to Church” by Hozier

Hozier_Take_Me_to_ChurchClick here to hear the song.

***

I had a dream last night
We were both naked
in front of the altar
As safe as soldiers on a battlefield
Hands in our imaginary pockets
like unrepentant children
Taunting God in this uprising of the soul
I am a mutiny; together we are an unapologetic riot
Your hands all over me in this sacred house
We loved so beautifully, even the paintings cried
Our bodies moving as one, ignited,
something Holy
I do, I do, I do
After what felt like an eternity
we collapsed under the divine pressure
It was the purest bliss
That must be how you become light

– Simone Desso

On the Edge of the World

jane

Fresh Paint #2 Metal Print by Jane Davies

 

There is a mole underneath my left breast
You called it a beauty mark
and drew an oasis with your tongue
as its roots
Shuffled skin around until the bud
in this savage territory
became – hospitable
Your fingers, its blueprints

– Simone Desso

Pillow Talk

 

Egon-Schiele_Embrace-Lovers-II_1917

Egon Schiele

I have lived a hundred lives
on the pillow
but my favorite was, by far,
The one in which I was the untamed lion
searching for a prey
under your sheets

– Simone Desso

Back From the Dead

the-descent-into-hell-1568

The Descent into Hell – Tintoretto, 1568

You know I have been to
Hell and back
I have shed as many skins as they are
flames in a fire and I –
Lost many pilgrims along the way
But the sun still rises and
I wish you could see me now
You would say I am
the strongest woman
you have ever known

– Simone Desso